A Buddhist Monk walks up to a hotdog stand and the vendor asks him "What can I do for you?"
The Buddhist Monk replies, "Make me one with everything."
(director's cut including additional punchline can be found in the commentary)
5.31.2005
5.28.2005
5.27.2005
When Knives are outlawed...
CNN says that certain Doctors in Britain are calling for the banning of kitchen knives. Long, pointed kitchen knives present too great a danger for impulsive stab-fests, say the Doctors. They could easily be replaced with much shorter pointy knives. Critics of Knife-Banning point out that they're pretty sure there are laws on the books intended to mcriminalize off-the-cuff as well as premeditated stabbing.
Do we really want 12 or 16 years of Clintons?
This poll says yes.
This humble and uninformed observer says no. This humble brauwghher (prononouced in wookie fashion as BRAAWRRGRR!) would find more solace in a third Bush term or even a revoking of Posse Comitatus. Do we really want the Presidency passed back and forth between dynasties like a relay baton?
If Hillary! wins, rest assured we'll see a Jeb Bush presidency shortly thereafter followed by the President/Vice President & Wife/Husband Chelsea & Obama. The south will rise again by declaring independence from the hated north and I will make a fortune smuggling Coca-Cola up the Mississippi River.
This humble and uninformed observer says no. This humble brauwghher (prononouced in wookie fashion as BRAAWRRGRR!) would find more solace in a third Bush term or even a revoking of Posse Comitatus. Do we really want the Presidency passed back and forth between dynasties like a relay baton?
If Hillary! wins, rest assured we'll see a Jeb Bush presidency shortly thereafter followed by the President/Vice President & Wife/Husband Chelsea & Obama. The south will rise again by declaring independence from the hated north and I will make a fortune smuggling Coca-Cola up the Mississippi River.
5.26.2005
'Screamin' Mad' Howard Dean
Opinion Journal's James Taranto quotes an MSNBC interview of Howard Dean concerning his mockery of Rush Limbaugh's pain medication addicion.
"The problem is it is galling to Democrats, 48 percent of us who did not support the president, it is galling to be lectured to about moral values by folks who have their own problems. Hypocrisy is a value that I think has been embraced by the Republican Party. We get lectured by people all day long about moral values by people who have their own moral shortcomings. I don't think we ought to give a whole lot of lectures to people--I think the Bible says something to the effect that be careful when you talk about the shortcomings of somebody else when you haven't removed the mote from your own eye. And I don't think we ought to be lectured to by Republicans who have got all these problems themselves. . . . We ought not to lecture each other about our ethical shortcomings."
I have no issue with calling Rush out on his doctor-shopping, pill-popping, former nicotine stained fingers used to sit on bran muffins ways. What I do take issue with is the idea that people like Rush Limbaugh should be held up as the Gold Standard of Republican thought. Rush is like those fish that attach themselves to passing sharks. He's a hanger-on, he's an entertainer. There's very little difference between talkshow hosts like Limbaugh and the latest bimbo to host A Current Affair in terms of journalistic integrity. Dean's comments are below what I expect from the Chairman of a major political party. That kind of insult should be farmed out to the left's various talking heads. The politicians themselves should be held to a higher standard of discourse.
That being said, Howard Dean is a crazy fuck who, for pure entertainment value, should run for President in 2008.
Possibly with George 'The Animal' Steele as his VP.
"The problem is it is galling to Democrats, 48 percent of us who did not support the president, it is galling to be lectured to about moral values by folks who have their own problems. Hypocrisy is a value that I think has been embraced by the Republican Party. We get lectured by people all day long about moral values by people who have their own moral shortcomings. I don't think we ought to give a whole lot of lectures to people--I think the Bible says something to the effect that be careful when you talk about the shortcomings of somebody else when you haven't removed the mote from your own eye. And I don't think we ought to be lectured to by Republicans who have got all these problems themselves. . . . We ought not to lecture each other about our ethical shortcomings."
I have no issue with calling Rush out on his doctor-shopping, pill-popping, former nicotine stained fingers used to sit on bran muffins ways. What I do take issue with is the idea that people like Rush Limbaugh should be held up as the Gold Standard of Republican thought. Rush is like those fish that attach themselves to passing sharks. He's a hanger-on, he's an entertainer. There's very little difference between talkshow hosts like Limbaugh and the latest bimbo to host A Current Affair in terms of journalistic integrity. Dean's comments are below what I expect from the Chairman of a major political party. That kind of insult should be farmed out to the left's various talking heads. The politicians themselves should be held to a higher standard of discourse.
That being said, Howard Dean is a crazy fuck who, for pure entertainment value, should run for President in 2008.
Possibly with George 'The Animal' Steele as his VP.
Paging Dr. Doom, You're needed in the GS Ward.
In response to the Honorable Dr. Doom on his question about writing vs reading brauwhhgss, I actually read fewer brauwhhgs then I have in the past as they mostly do what we're doing here.
5.25.2005
They're straight, I swear!
The Monkey and The Starless have both taken the 'Which Lady's PJs are you?' test.
wow. that's so..umm.. that's totally not gay at all. not a bit.
wow. that's so..umm.. that's totally not gay at all. not a bit.
5.24.2005
Man vs Machine
UK Chess Grandmaster Michael Adams will take on Hydra in a six game Chess showdown this June. Hydra is faster at planning ahead than IBM's Deep Blue which trounced Gary Kasparov into retirement.
Adams will probably lose the match but humanity still has the upperhand when it comes to Go.
Adams will probably lose the match but humanity still has the upperhand when it comes to Go.
5.23.2005
Google worth $71 Billion?
Google's stock gained $13.84 a share today bringing their stock price to $255.45 and their Market Cap to $71 Billion. Their Price to Earnings ratio is an astoundingly high 102.67.
Come on guys, this is getting a little out of hand. Sure, Google has a lot of clout right now and they're bound to expand into other internet-related markets but this is just baffling. Why anybody would buy Google stock after watching countless internet firms in the late 90s careen down the stock ticker like lemmings off a cliff is beyond me.
Come on guys, this is getting a little out of hand. Sure, Google has a lot of clout right now and they're bound to expand into other internet-related markets but this is just baffling. Why anybody would buy Google stock after watching countless internet firms in the late 90s careen down the stock ticker like lemmings off a cliff is beyond me.
5.22.2005
RoTS and Hidden Messages
Punditguy makes the case that Episode 3 contains awarning to the catholic church.
I think the real hidden message of Episode 3 is that Lucas can't write his way out of a wet paper sack and that he's clearly more interested in digital effects and backdrops than he is in directing actors.
I think the real hidden message of Episode 3 is that Lucas can't write his way out of a wet paper sack and that he's clearly more interested in digital effects and backdrops than he is in directing actors.
Episode 3: Spoilers Ahead
"Good. Twice the pride, double the fall. I have looked forward to this, Skywalker."
That's it. That's the only line I can remember from Episode 3. Count Dooku, played by Christopher Lee, says this to Anakin early on in the film with such malovelence and foreboding that shortly thereafter, he gets his head cut off.
It's as if George Lucas realized, to his horror, that one of his actors was (gasp) acting; something specifically forbidden in any of the 3 prequels. He must have lept out of his director's chair shouting 'KILL HIM! KILL HIM BEFORE HE INFECTS THE OTHERS!' Lee's delivery of that line is one of two moments in this film that remind you how epic Star Wars can be. The other moment is the enormous space battle which occurs just before Lee's head is removed for daring to upstage the post-production.
It's all downhill after that. There's a subplot about saving the Wookie homeworld which makes absolutely no sense and reinforces my belief that Episode 1, 2 and 3 should be collectively retitled 'Star Wars: Non-Sequitur Theatre. The Jedi Council, while discussing how well the war is going, decides to send a battalion of clone troppers to save the Wookie homeworld. The scene went something like this.
Giant Headed Jedi: The war is going well.
Mace Windu: Yes.
Yoda: Indeed.
Random Tentacled Jedi: The Wookies are in danger.
Giant Headed Jedi: I like Wookies. They make funny noises. Graawwrorr!
Yoda: Graawroour!
Obi-Wan: Wookies rule! Grarrroowr!
Mace Windu: It's agreed. We'll send a battalion of clone troops to save the Wookies because who doesn't love Wookies? Graaoowr!
Anakin's switch to the darkside is incredibly abrupt. He's concerned that his wife, Padme, will die in child birth. He is lured to the darkside by a desire to prevent her death. His transition from Jedi to Sith goes something like this.
Anakin: Oh what have I done! I slaughtered countless sand people, I decapitated Count Dooku and I just had a hand in throwing Mace Windu to his certain doom! I'm a horrible monster and I beg for death! All I wanted to do was prevent Padme from dying in childbirth! Oh I'm so conflicted and angsty!
Palpatine: So, you wanna cut down all the jedi children, help me overthrow the Jedi Council and save your wife from death during childbirth?
Anakin: Palpatine, you had me at hello. Also, I'm worried that Padme will die during childbirth.
Padme is, of course, the Senator from Naboo who was appointed Senator by a democratically elected queen. Padme's daughter, Leia Organa, will become Princess of Alderaan despite being adopted by Senator Jimmy Smits and despite clearly not being the daughter of a current King or Queen.
I could go on and on so I will conclude with this thought. Christopher Lee gives the best performance of the film and is cut down within 30 seconds of doing so. Natalie Portman, who we all know can act, gives a wooden performance, is force choked but is allowed to live until her children are born and while Hayden Christensen gets his legs cut off and is burned nearly to death by lava for his poor rendition as Anakin Skywalker, he still gets to become the Galaxy's number one badass: Darth Vader.
There is no justice in this world.
That's it. That's the only line I can remember from Episode 3. Count Dooku, played by Christopher Lee, says this to Anakin early on in the film with such malovelence and foreboding that shortly thereafter, he gets his head cut off.
It's as if George Lucas realized, to his horror, that one of his actors was (gasp) acting; something specifically forbidden in any of the 3 prequels. He must have lept out of his director's chair shouting 'KILL HIM! KILL HIM BEFORE HE INFECTS THE OTHERS!' Lee's delivery of that line is one of two moments in this film that remind you how epic Star Wars can be. The other moment is the enormous space battle which occurs just before Lee's head is removed for daring to upstage the post-production.
It's all downhill after that. There's a subplot about saving the Wookie homeworld which makes absolutely no sense and reinforces my belief that Episode 1, 2 and 3 should be collectively retitled 'Star Wars: Non-Sequitur Theatre. The Jedi Council, while discussing how well the war is going, decides to send a battalion of clone troppers to save the Wookie homeworld. The scene went something like this.
Giant Headed Jedi: The war is going well.
Mace Windu: Yes.
Yoda: Indeed.
Random Tentacled Jedi: The Wookies are in danger.
Giant Headed Jedi: I like Wookies. They make funny noises. Graawwrorr!
Yoda: Graawroour!
Obi-Wan: Wookies rule! Grarrroowr!
Mace Windu: It's agreed. We'll send a battalion of clone troops to save the Wookies because who doesn't love Wookies? Graaoowr!
Anakin's switch to the darkside is incredibly abrupt. He's concerned that his wife, Padme, will die in child birth. He is lured to the darkside by a desire to prevent her death. His transition from Jedi to Sith goes something like this.
Anakin: Oh what have I done! I slaughtered countless sand people, I decapitated Count Dooku and I just had a hand in throwing Mace Windu to his certain doom! I'm a horrible monster and I beg for death! All I wanted to do was prevent Padme from dying in childbirth! Oh I'm so conflicted and angsty!
Palpatine: So, you wanna cut down all the jedi children, help me overthrow the Jedi Council and save your wife from death during childbirth?
Anakin: Palpatine, you had me at hello. Also, I'm worried that Padme will die during childbirth.
Padme is, of course, the Senator from Naboo who was appointed Senator by a democratically elected queen. Padme's daughter, Leia Organa, will become Princess of Alderaan despite being adopted by Senator Jimmy Smits and despite clearly not being the daughter of a current King or Queen.
I could go on and on so I will conclude with this thought. Christopher Lee gives the best performance of the film and is cut down within 30 seconds of doing so. Natalie Portman, who we all know can act, gives a wooden performance, is force choked but is allowed to live until her children are born and while Hayden Christensen gets his legs cut off and is burned nearly to death by lava for his poor rendition as Anakin Skywalker, he still gets to become the Galaxy's number one badass: Darth Vader.
There is no justice in this world.
5.21.2005
Shoutz to my homies
I'm convinced that the blogging world is comprised almost entirely of links to other blogs and shouts out to homies. Here's to my peeps at Discipline and Formosan Monkey.
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